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Robert Kopler and Barry Harnamji-Our Story
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Robert and Barry
Our Story: Robert Wilson Kopler and Barry Wade Harnamji got together in 1985 and remained together until 2007.  When we met, Robert was working two full time jobs.  He had always been independent from very young, generous to a fault and stubborn as the proverbial mule.  He's always known what he wanted and would not let anything get in his way.  As time passed I realized that Robert was the best person for me and pretty amazing as well.  We lived our lives as best we could for the next several years until life intervened, as it normally does, with something painfully unexpected.

At the end of February 1996, Robert experienced a massive stroke that left the right side of his body partially paralyzed and he became disabled at the age of 34.

I watched helplessly as the body and spirit of this most vibrant and beautiful person began to slowly decline as the years continued.

On May 08, 2007, I was with Robert when he took his last breath.  His body could take no more pain or suffering.

Robert Kopler died in my arms.  It was the most painful experience I have ever known and one for which I will never overcome.  We were both 45 years old.  Robert was My Life's Love and I love him with everything I possess.

My biggest regret is keeping this beautiful person, who I loved for over half my life, and our lives a secret for so long.  Forgive me, My Love,

I Love You Forever, My Blue Eyes.

The following years meant a lot of rehabilitation, going in and out of hospitals and battling additional complications.

Robert endured more complications than any one body should ever have to handle but his strong spirit pulled him through every time.  I saw him at the brink of death on so many occasions, only to be snatched back to me at the very last moment.  I very seldom use the word “awesome” to describe anyone but it’s the most befitting of words to describe Robert Kopler and all of the adversities he overcame.

I have never felt more helpless and hopeless, however, as I did while Robert was in the hospital and then when he came home to recuperate.


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Website designed by Barry Harnamji, Copyright © 2010
My Eulogy to Robert

Robert Kopler,
You are the most amazing person I know.
Your lust for life,
Your stubbornness,
Your intelligence,
Your generosity,
Your values,
Your perseverance,
Your nurturing,
Your determination,
Your capacity to love,
Your beautiful blue eyes,


You showed me what was important in life.
We were both very stubborn
But you gave me the room I needed.  You made me the angriest.
You made me the happiest.
You made me the saddest.
I only hope that I helped you
as much as you helped me.

You are The Love Of My Life
and I will always love You,



Your captivating smile,
Are some of the things that come to mind when I think of you
And these are some of the things
I miss most about you.
You took care of me
when I needed taking care of.
You supported me when I had no one else.
You taught me so many things about myself and so many things about this life.

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