There are not many things in this life that I have been unable to handle. All of the complications that Robert experienced, beginning with the stroke and throughout the years, forced me to re-evaluate so many aspects of so many things that I had taken for granted. I realized that I needed to organize two lives; take on many more responsibilities; drive more and longer distances; think and plan way ahead; keep track of so many new things - appointments, applications and forms, order and keep track of medications, learn the legal system as it applies to disability; take on everything as hospitalizations and recuperations occurred; work longer, harder hours and more and more and more it seemed, plus, continue to work as normal at my regular job, and still, keep it all inside.
The most difficult part of all was not the responsibility, it was being unable to tell anyone anything about what was going on in my life, for fear of losing my job, because of who we were. I could not afford to lose my job and be unable to provide for, and take care of Robert, so I kept our life a secret, out of my own fears. The most important person in my my life was my biggest secret. I kept all of his pain and suffering a secret, as much as it hurt, for so many years and I forever regret it. For this, My Love, I am truly sorry. Forgive me.
Robert Kopler, My Blue Eyes, You are The Love Of My Life and I am Eternally Yours.